


Gum, Geeks & Guns

by 29PheonixLement



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 12:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14355633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/29PheonixLement/pseuds/29PheonixLement
Summary: I'm saying this now so I won't be in trouble later. I didn't come up with all of these ideas on my own I borrowed from some of the other fanfics I've read but most of the concepts are mine so please if you see something you recognize as someone else just know that that is not only my idea but also theirs.





	1. For $1.25

"What do you mean you don't have any more?"

That wasn't the first question Natasha had heard that day once she managed to pry herself –grudgingly- away from her newest -and most defiantly her favorite- form of stress release to join her friend at the firing range but her question was by far the most meaningless one she had, had so far.

"Exactly what those words imply." Natasha replied dryly deciding to just lounge in the chair beside the door rather than work on target practice- she'd rather be back up in his room working on more ways of relieving her stress but unforchiounltly she wasn't so now the Black Widow was curled in a chair in a corner of the room her knees pulled up against her chest and sulking like a lovesick teenager. "Why don't you just go get some from the vending machine it's like $1.25 at least." She complained watching as the gun was loaded and the paper target was hung and sent down range.

"Well I would but you bought out what was left in the whole building yesterday remember." Natasha rolled her eyes at the ceiling "….besides that's not my point, the point is that you managed to get through seven whole packs in less than a day…that's like…well not you." One of the eight (nine when Stark wasn't being a major pain in the neck) people she considered her close friends pointed out.

' _I should just be thankful Clint's on leave with Laura and the kids…else he'd probably be snooping in the air vents by now.'_  She concluded bitterly "What so now a girl can't have a craving for gum all of a sudden?"

"Whatever you say Nat…." was the cheeky reply as she watched the deputy director squaring off against her stationary target and firing off the first round right in the heart.

_Flashback/Memory pt1:_

" _What's up Doc.?" She asks from the doorway blowing a small bubble with her gum and popping it loudly as he looks up that heart-stopping smile of his already in place as she pushes herself up on the table beside him. "Nothing much…just trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe before bedtime." He shrugged leaning back in his chair and rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses as he propped his feet up at her side._

" _Darn I thought tonight was plots in taking over the world." She muttered tarring her eyes away before she completely lost her wits, her voice already faltering with complete control of the situation like she normally would have but as strange as it is she can't bring herself to care, not when the reason behind it was the man lounging in front of her._

_(Holy Russia does he look sexy in jeans especially those dark indigo slim fitting ones she loves so much and don't even get her started on that deep purple button up shirt he was sporting with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top three buttons undone to show off just a hint of his chest.)_

" _Got anymore purple or reds left?" he asked by way of yet another distraction. Natasha rolled her eyes as she dumped the pack onto the table beside her. "I was hoping it'd be both." Bruce grinned taking the handful of dully colored candy she offered with a light chuckle "Thanks and no world domination is for tomorrow night." He explains dumping the whole lot into his mouth while she moves so her legs so they are dangling on either side of his chair_

_She looked at him in total confusion "But that's what you said yesterday night so I thought you'd be free tomorrow night?" she questioned replacing her own flavorless candies with fresh ones from the now empty wrapper before returning it to her pocket. "I can't let Tony have all the fun he's already a half-crazed maniac as it is." He scoffed popping his own gum bubble while going back to his notes. "Yeah, anything but that." She agreed as she ran a hand through his already disheveled hair settling in for as long as he wanted her to stay._

" _So what's…?" she starts wondering about what's been keeping him down here all this time but she breaks off as his lips crash suddenly and urgently to hers._

_Natasha groaned, pulling him closer by his lapels drinking in his warm scent and tasted the salt of his skin under her tongue as she whips at his neck then back up to his lips as he stands somehow managing to pull her back to the ground without breaking the kiss. This one was slow not really fireworks but more akin to the slow burn of smooth vodka that was heatedly sparking one delightful sensation after another as she struggled with the front of his shirt. His arms slid around her holding her against him while she contemplates just ripping the buttons free and dealing with the fall out later or…well that same scenario but decided against it…she liked that shirt too much to destroy it get yet._

S _he knew going into this he wasn't built like a super-soldier or a Norse god. She knew his body was one that had been fashioned by necessity, (on the run and surviving in the outskirts and slums of the third world countries he loved) but Sweet Mother Russia not even that could make him anything less than heart-stoppingly gorgeous as the fabric slid from his shoulders…_

_End of Flashback/Memory pt1_

"Earth to Nat…" she blinked ' _Dimmit right at the good part.'_ she complained just now realizing the buzzing pain in her shoulder and self-consciously whipping the small amount of saliva from the corner of her mouth with the back of her other hand as her eyes refocused on the smug look on Maria Hill's face. "Come on Sleeping Beauty it's nearly lunch." She reminded her nodding to the clock on the wall behind her head "And you still owe me a 1.25 in vending money Widow."

"How about I just get you one of Stark's four stare chefs and we'll call it even?" Natasha suggested hoping that if she played her cards right Maria wouldn't go running to the resident air vent dweller of New York as soon as he got back – whenever that was- for a new round of the  _'Let's Follow Natasha.'_  game the pair seemed to be playing recently much to Natasha and Bruce's annoyance seeing as they didn't want everyone knowing they were a thing just yet meaning they had to be extra careful about when they were together.

"Fine by me…let's go." Natasha rolled her eyes but let herself be lead out the door and back up the stairs toward the mess hall.


	2. Honey You're Going Shopping

_Flashback/Memory pt2:_

" _Look if Toney doesn't kill me by lunch and nothing extremely dangerous comes up I'll be their alright?" he negotiated through the open doorway slipping the last of her stash into his back pocket as he shakes the rest of the water from his hair pausing as he caught his reflection in the steamed up mirror while he finger combed it out. He couldn't help but grin with pride at the distinct crescent marks just below his ear and down along the right side of his neck._

" _Fine go." Came the reply from his bedroom followed by a muffled and distinctly Russian growl of a curse._

" _Tash." He groaned meeting a hard upside down glare as he leaned against the doorway separating the two rooms, it was a look he might have been afraid of once, but now he knew it was one that showed more amusement than actual annoyance as she rolled back onto her stomach with a slight breathy giggle then her face slid back into total control. "Go…but if Hulk lets_ _ **Anything**_ _happen to either one of you I'm killing him and not talking to you for a whole month" She threatened "And not the normal one the extended extra-long kind." She added sounding more like a purring kitten than the skilled assassin he knows her to be._

_"Sorry to say, Miss Romanova," he sighted not even trying to hide the smirk playing on his lips as he pushed away from the doorway "but your attire doesn't rrrealllly back up your threat." He commented exaggerating the word as he pulled his pants back around his waist, as he turns to look at her. Natasha blinked but smirked back, her eyes shining with that spark of mirth and mischievousness fire Banner swore he would never get used to seeing and making him hope he's not physically drooling like he was in his head at the sight before him._

_Her russet hair was still uncombed and all over her face as she starched out oh so invitingly across his bed her waist and legs still tangled in his sheets leaving her top half ungraded to his appreciative gaze. "Feeling bold today are we, Dr. Banner?" She teased, watching him tare his eyes away to ransack his drawers trying to find matching socks. Bruce chucked once but didn't give any other sort of reply._

" _Tasha." He groaned as her lips grazed his neck as she wrapped her arms around his waist from behind fitting herself against his shoulder blades when he foolishly sat down to retie his shoes. She smirked against his skin biting down but not hard enough to break skin as she lovingly nuzzled his shoulder. "Nat, I have to,-" He tried again pulling himself out of her grasp before he lost what little control he still had when he felt her hands brush the clasp of his jeans._

" _Stark wouldn't hurt you and you know it he loves your intellect too much to lose you over something as stupid as '_ _ **Over Sleeping'**_ _." She reminded him her lips curling around the last two words (as if he needed the insight seeing as they had been far from sleeping both the previous night and well into the morning.} "Besides you work too hard anyway." She continues looking dangerously predatory in his prorifral vision, her movements airy and sensual, trying to get his attention again._

_Natasha didn't have to keep the act up long, as soon as she moved, he stopped his search for a clean shirt and turned for her opinion, his eyes raised in question, but quickly changing to a darker black kind of color tone, one that had his bed warmer whimpering and biting her lip hungrily behind him as he slipped it out of the drawer and over his shoulder. "You know I can think of something a hell of a lot closer for you to go down to than the stupid lab…" Natasha insisted her voice just barely above a whisper now._

_Bruce gulped finding her closer than he had originally thought, her eyes staring at him, inviting, teasing -aroused. "Wasn't tha-" He tried to get out seeing the shirt he thought he had just pulled over his head fisted in her hand, but his brain shut down mid-question as Natasha reached for him pulling him closer by the belt loops of his pants, that dark thing in her hands falling back to the floor as, her arms encircled his neck, her face so close to his it was taking all of his and even the Hulk's control to not simply dive in and kiss her._

_"Seriously Banner, finish what you started or I swear there's goanna be blood and it will not be mine." She breathed threateningly nuzzled the side of his face insistently. Apparently he didn't get to rile her up (as unintentional as it was) just leave her and force her to take care of herself (not that he would when she still had nothing but that paper thin sheet draped around her curved frame and his pants are now down his waist anyway), her eyes pierced his then lowered to his lips, her mouth slightly parting as she waited for him to do something._

_The resulting heated wrestling match costing him another hour and a half away from the lab…Not that he would ever dream of complaining because at times like these he_ _**REALLY** _ _liked it when Natasha was angry…_

_End of Flashback/Memory pt. 2_

"Dammit Banner you drank or something" Tony asked sarcastically as soon as Bruce stumbled passed the double glass doors and into the lab after comically and spectacularly walking face first into them before JARVIS had, had a chance to open the them for him. "Your equilibrium is like you're coming off a week-long bender….And no food in my lab you know the rules Banner." He barked

"Shut it, Tony, you've had worse." Bruce countered wishing he had just stayed in his room and let her continue taking out her frustration on him as he tried to amuse himself by started up his computer for the day without getting distracted by the temptation to star at the fresh marks hidden just under the up turned collar of his lab coat. "While I'm still on your good side there's something I need you to get by lunch." He added gargaldly after he emptied what was left of the package into his mouth then sliding the empty wrapper across the table to the bemused and intrigued gagilllionair not taking his eyes off the equation he was supposed to be solving.

"Honestly Bruce I can't understand why you find these so appealing." Tony complained reaching for his phone examining the bright blue candy wrapper in his hand while he waited for his own partner in crime- or as she prefers his partner in high heels- to pick up. "Honey drop whatever you're doing and grab your purse Banner needs you to going shopping."


	3. Lunch Break Lunch Break…

"Lady Natasha we would like to speak with you…."

Natasha didn't even look up as Thor joined them "What'd need now boys?" she groaned wishing he or the smirking Captain America at his shoulder was someone else on their hojpoje of a team sent to crash her lunch break but apparently something had come up in the lab, Maria had run off on her after she got a short and rather sketchy phone call, and Pepper wasn't taking her calls so Natasha was spending her break with one of her other backup lunch companions.

"You need to come with us…there's some stuff you have to sign for," Steve told her

"Hu…?" she asked as she and her equally confused lunch companion followed the pair out of the mess hall and out into the front law. "…It would seem you have an  _ **Admirer."**_ Thor really was terrible at sudalty even without the tell-tale roar echoing from around the corner they were heading towards.

"Told him not to come out here...Seriously does anyone listen to me?" The Captain grumbled under his breath as if forgetting it was Natasha, not Sharon at his elbow hearing ever word he just said.

"Look I'm sorry alright you just got in the way I was really aiming for Tony anyway besides these aren't even real bullets man..." Natasha could now clearly see the towering green-skinned form of her closeted lover growling in annoyance at a timid but marginally refreshed looking Hawkeye

" _No arguments Barton after all this intergalactic Loki whatnot you of all of us need some R &R now go fix a barn or whatever it is you do at that place of yours….oh and say Hi to your Mrs. for me." Fury ordered finally managing to get the ragged looking Clint to laugh for the first time in weeks._

But as angry as the Big Guy sounded he didn't make a single move to attack as the four of them rounded the edge of the snow white windows beside the garage. "I did warn you not to bring those babe." Laura laughed as Natasha and Sharon both rolled their eyes.

"Hey, yeah Big Guy…Find anything  _ **Extremely Dangerous**_ lately?" the Russian asked causing the giant green man's shoulders to slump in defeat turning to face her with a rather guilty expression on his wide face, his eyes shifted down to his bare feet as he hung his head in a strange comparison of his other self's expression of embarrassment- like a child about to be scolded by a parent-

"Glad you could make it Romanov." Fury greeted pulling her attention from both the now silent Hulk and the stacks of cardboard boxes piled rather neatly behind him "Mind giving me an autograph so I no longer have to deal with the exactly ninety-nine boxes in front of my top secret military base?" he asked holding out the release form.

"That's not right….they're supposed to be an even hundred." Tony groaned coming from behind them with two more boxes in his arms.

"And just how would you know that?" Fury asked fanning ignorance as he was one of the people who helped move the damned things anyway. "Lucky guess." Steve shrugged grinning at the exasperated eye roll he received from the blond at his side.

"Uh, Hu." Natasha scoffed not hearing a word any of them had said as her eyes stayed fixed on the still timid looking rage machine in front of her. "We're having a major discussion later you know." She warned forgetting their rather high ranking audience as her eyes held his.

Hulk flinched as she folded her arms over her chest not having registered the fact she had beaming up at him for the past two minutes but he was saved any more of her laid back wrath by the excited squeals of two rather familiar looking burrs barreling toward them with Jane panting behind them looking sheepish. "Sorry, they just got away from me." She called before the storm of the Barton brigade hit with breath stealing force.

"Happy birthday Auntie Nat." Lila and Cooper exclaimed in unison both all but welding themselves to around her waist one on either side.

"You did remember." She realized cursing herself for not seeing it, to begin with.

"Of course we did Banner had it marked on the calendar and everything…Bright colors bolded and capital letters like a zillion exclamation marks the whole deal." Tony admitted earning a loud and pitiful huff from Hulk "What were we not telling her that or something?" he asked with a teasing smirk. "Oh come on Green Machine even you have to see how that's funny."

The Big Guy just huffed loudly again but sent Natasha what everyone in attendance would later swear (and Laura has the video to prove it) was thee most blissful smile any of them had EVER seen in their lives...

And again it came from the  _ **Incredible Freaking Hulk!**_

Even when with a three-way split of his attention between watching Natasha happily shredding into the closest box of what was until recently her least favorite kind of gum,

"You do realize that technically you still haven't signed for that right Romanoff?" Steve joked "So this could be considered stealing." He reminded her as Natasha gleefully ripped into the packages and started sorting there Constance into five different towers by color.

"Position is nine-tenths of the law…" she replied her voice breathy and sing-song "now go talk to the Big Guy or something I'm busy." She snapped not looking up from her work.

Acting like a living climbing wall for Cooper

"I have a picture of you on my wall you know…but I think you're way cooler in person." The boy decided pushing himself up with a slight grunt of annoyance when his legs simply dangled below him which only made the Big Guy smile wider as he helped  _'Tiny bowman'_  onto his shoulder with one hand. "This is so cool." He praised looping his arm around Hulk neck in a loose half chock hold as he watched the adult below him.

All while remaining perfectly still while Laila sat in his lap tying dandelions together for a large flowery crown the Big Guy wore proudly and seemed to pull off rather well once she had managed to pass it to Cooper who nestled in into the Hulk's wild jet black mop of hair.

"I'll make Auntie Nat one later." Laila explained whipping her grass-stained hands on her pants as she settled back into the curve of Hulk's arm "That way she can be like your queen okay?" she asked tilting her head back to look at him. Hulk just grinned all the more broadly so she took it to mean 'Yes.'.

"Please Please _ **, Please**_  tell me you got all that." Natasha begged sliding up to a misty-eyed Laura who simply nodded whipping her eyes with her jacket sleeve "And if she didn't then I sure as hell did." Pepper promised from behind them audibly moved by the scene they had just witnessed.

"You know there something strangely romantic about this whole thing." Fury said passively

"Sir?" Hill asked confused

"Well, there is…I mean how could those two one of whom is a topnotch servaliance expert not realizes that they can't just hide a relationship like theirs in a place with state of the art cameras on every floor except the bed and bathrooms?" he questioned sarcastically. Hill opened her mouth to speak again but Fury cut her off still lost in his own rambling thoughts "I'll get the rest of that moved into one of the empty lockable labs if you have tech send me the feeds from the lawn cameras so we can get that last case back."

"I don't think she cares about numbers…just that  _ **He**_ remembered her birthday."

" _ **Razzle's**_  are both a candy and a gum you know." He said distractedly not have heard a word she just said: "And that's not just appealing to kids any more adults can still enjoy them too." He reasoned simply and Hill had a strange notion that if she managed to get into the Director's office when he wasn't around she'd find that missing hundredth case stashed somewhere.

"Now go have fun while it's still daylight….you people work too hard anyway." Fury ordered waving a hand airily.

"Whatever you say, Sir." Hill grinned.


	4. Bang Bang…You're Out!

"It's my birthday and I said no armor and no flying Stark you don't like it you can take it up with my boyfriend he's sitting right over there." Natasha yelled pointing toward the Hulk who was grinning inthusiacticly from the sidelines still on kid watch.

"Hulkster remind me to change Puny Banner's lab code tomorrow okay?" Tony snapped loudly letting the Ironman chest plate fall to the ground beside the chuckling trio but the Hulk just rolled his eyes too caught up in watching his fiery spider dance around and shoot at stuff to care about labs and codes while Stark hurried back into the mocha war zone.

"Mr. Hulk…what are Ragzls?" asked a small voice from his lap "Its Ra _ **zzle**_ 's Li." Her brother corrected re-claiming his parch as a lookout on Hulk wide shoulder holding out his own package for the Big Guy's inspection.

"Come on not you guys too." Clint pleaded seeing both his little girl and her brother holding identical bright electric blue wrappers. "Seriously am I the only one who thinks they have zero taste?" he asked forgetting where he was and completely giving away his position as he stood up.

"YES!" Natasha, Steve, Laura, Jane, Maria, and Thor chanted turning their weapons on the dumfounded archer.

"Nope." Tony sang from across the field and that comment ended up with him getting the rest of the bright orange firing squad

"SPIDER SMASH." Hulk, Cooper, and Lila yelled happily together like a rather unconventional cheering section.

"Whose side are you guys on anyway?" Clint asked bracing his hands on his knees as he looks towards his giggling offspring.

"Uncle Hulk's." His children chorused unwavering loyalty clear in their tones as the Big Guy let out a low but still proud and smug roar pounding his chest once as he  _ **strutted**_  along behind them while they helped collect the discarded ammunition.

"Tell me someone got that please." Tony begged his face splitting into a wide smile like an excited kid on Christmas morning when everyone but his, Clint, Steve and Thor's hands rose behind the Hulk's back.

"Anyone up for round two?" Natasha asked snapping a quick picture of the sideline view before slipping her phone back into her pocket.

"We're ready when you are so game on Birthday Spider." Clint joked as the teams faced off again in another girls vs guys Nerf war as the sun sunk lower into the tree line and the Barton kids slept using the Hulk's side as a pillow while the Big Guy kept up his protective vigil on both as neither he or not so Puny Banner minded sitting out of the fun as long as their Tasha was happy.


End file.
